Archives for February 2010

I Is For iPod; P For Progress

So me and Hayley (well, it was me) came up with the idea of guest-posting on eachother’s blog; mine being located at the “it means nothing, honest” foshiznik.com.

Once this was agreed and WordPress account set up, the problems begin: what to write about? Should it be my take on something on Ceriselle – shoes, maybe, or Bristol – or something common to my site instead?

How about a link to both. Me and Hayley are both Apple geeks. She has, as I am sure you know, an iPhone, and iMac, a Hackintosh or two. I’ve got a MacBook, two old G3 iMacs, a just-about-retro 2nd gen iPod Nano, and a hankering for the rather pointless big-iPhone-without-a-phone iPad.

So. iPods. And progress. Recently, Google introduced us to Google Wave, and Google Buzz (“Twitter but Shitter”). Neither of these have taken off brilliantly fast, especially in the case of Wave, and I point the finger of blame firmly at progressing too fast.

Think about it. Things need to come in stages so we get used to them. Look at Facebook. Every time it has changed to “the new Facebook” it has introduced a few changes that they could have done all at the same time, but didn’t. You may think this is because they hadn’t developed it that far, or hadn’t had this or that idea yet. But if they have, they still would have had to do it step by step, because too much progress in one go scares the fuck out of us.

Back to the iPod. Remember when iTunes store didn’t exist? And when it did they added each function one at a time and told us “soon you can do this, but not yet.” It’s because Apple know that if they had bombarded us with the full functionality straight away, we would have mostly been baffled by it and it would have failed.

If, when you got your first AOL account back in 1997, you could have had 20meg broadband you would have thought “I don’t need this”. If YouTube and Facebook and iChat and Twitter had all been launched on the same day, with all their current full functionalities, we would have balked at it – remember that at this time, AIM was “well futuristic”.

So they like you to think that each innovation is a natural progression. This is where we round off nicely with iPods again. I’ve noticed recently that my 4 year old Nano has developed an alarming propensity to know exactly what tune to play, when. On the way to my brothers it played Dragonforce; when I arrived at his Dragonforce was on in the house. I have a bit of lady-related grief and it plays all the songs we both love. I lit a fag just before exiting the Grafton Centre the other day and was treated to Eminem telling me he’s a criminal. I met my uncle so he could give me a birthday present and as he drove away, his iPod shuffled to the number one from the day I was born.

Where am I, and indeed Apple, going with this? It’s pacing and mirroring, basically. iPods are learning to react to us. And eventually they will start controlling us, little bit by little bit.

Then, Steve Jobs will be able to put an Apple logo on an actual brick and sell it to us for £349.99. And we’ll love it. It’s going to happen. Mark my words.

The Vendetta Against Slankets

I’ve been biting my tongue (yeah, OK Zoe, not really) on this item for a while, but enough is enough.

Slankets.

These are possibly the worst thing, fashion wise, since Ugg boots, since rah hair (seriously, I DO NOT understand this trend of looking like you’ve been having lots of fun in a hedge) and yes, even since Crocs (whats worse than the smell of one pair of Crocs? A shop full of them. I went into a Croc Shop in Amsterdam a few years ago and had to leave straight away – the smell was even worse than a branch of Lush!)

Anyway. Slankets.

The idea behind them is reasonably logical. If you’re curled up on the sofa with a blanket on, its a bit difficult to reach for things cause your hands are all nice and cosy.

However, the fact that someone has not only “designed” a blanket with sleeves (so, er, whats the difference between that and a dressing gown put on back to front?) but is charging between £20 and £25 for something that without sleeves will cost you £5 (oh Ikea <3) is just amazing. Whats even more ridiculous is that people are actually paying this for a fleecey blanket!

I find the Slankets insane enough (and honestly, a little bit chavvy) but to find that there is one so you can snuggle up with your significant other nearly made my head explode. (Seriously, super uber smugness right there. Look at their smug little faces)

If anyone even tries to suggest buying one of these for me, I will hurt you.

(P.S. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? Apologies for the language, but its insane!)

Whats In My Bag: February 10

According to “How To Tell A Woman By Her Handbag“, shockingly, you can tell a lot about a woman by her handbag and the contents of it. (Whilst that book is visually quite pleasing, quite honestly, it seems like another self help book of little content)

Anyway. I always like these sort of things, because I’m very nosy to see what stuff people carry around every day that they consider important. And not because I think that if you have a bag overflowing with everything from old bills to make-up and bus tickets then you must be “an imaginative free spirit”. If you could see me right now, you’d see I was shaking my head in a sad, disappointed way.

Click the picture to see the Flickr page, which has notes all over it.

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