People think I’m weird because I have a bit of an obsession with Parma Violets. I find them yummy and sweet, and I love the smell. To others, it tastes like soap and smells like old ladies.

I bought McQueen * from Amazon after someone said it smelt exactly like Parma Violets. Oddly, the 100ml bottle was cheaper than the 50ml at the time, so I bought it quick. Maybe its just my nose, but I don’t really smell the violets.

I bought Insolence* from Debenhams a few weeks ago – I had a gift card burning a hole in my purse, and I had a miniature of this in my bag which I loved until it all emptied out into my bag. The bag still smells quite nice, 2 years later.

Both of these are meant to be quite violet-y, but they just weren’t the right sort of sweet violet. A lazy browse around Amazon lead me to something which I thought was worth buying the body spray of to see if thats the scent I was hunting for since it was only £2 with Prime delivery. Success! It was!

You’re probably wondering what that scent was. Um. Well, its Yardley April Violets*. Which…is an old lady kind of brand.

Oh dear.

Todays post was originally going to be an entry into a competition by a company to win a ridiculous amount of shoes.

But obviously, its not. (I think I just heard Alex breathe a sigh of relief.)

Recently, there have been so many “competitions” and “awards” where the main objective for the company has seemed to be to get as many incoming links and mentions on Twitter, increasing their own visibility whilst masquerading as giving something to the blogging community. That may be a very cynical way of looking at things, but before this shoe company (I won’t put the name here, but I think most of you will know – and really, if you don’t, its irrelevant anyway) started their “ambassador scheme”, I doubt many people had even heard of them, and before their competition was announced, I hadn’t even been to the site. The competition is to write about a pair of shoes from their site – before I started this post, I was intending to enter and spent a few hours idly browsing their website and even contemplated a purchase. Job well done, shoe company.

Before Big Fashionista posted her post yesterday about the popularity contest side of things, the shoe company intended to narrow down the hundreds of entries down to 5, then “let the public decide”. My least favourite part of any competition. Y’see, companies have realized that instead of getting a small team together in house to pick a winner based on their actual entry for something, they can instead get the finalists themselves to hunt for votes, whoring themselves as much as possible. You may remember last year, I was one of the final four in a competition to write for a lingerie company website. I felt incredibly uncomfortable asking people to vote for me (I’ve blogged recently about how I dislike promoting myself) but I did as much as I felt comfortable with. I didn’t think I had the best entry, but I didn’t think that the eventual winner was the best out of the four. Does being able to ask for votes really qualify someone to write well?

Which kinda brings me on to blog awards. I’ve made comments on Twitter (of course, its where I get my bitchyness out!) but haven’t really had a chance to get things out properly. Cosmopolitan, Marie Clare, More, Company, Look, Glamour…the list of magazines starting to use bloggers as features is increasing. A number of these magazines have blog awards, and two of them are ongoing at the moment. While I am pleased for my friends who are nominated, it feels quite uncomfortable to me that the prizes in these awards is often the “chance” to write for the magazine. You win the chance to provide them with free content? It just doesn’t seem much of a prize for those of us that blogging and writing is a hobby rather than a career. However much I would love some recognition that non blogging friends would understand, the truth is in my industry, an award for blogging is about as useful as that 400m swimming badge I got when I was…um…15.

The worst part about these awards is when there is more than one person in the category that you like a lot. I ended up registering with a few different email addresses for the Cosmo awards recently so I could vote for each of the lovely ladies in the fashion blogger category – which seems rather pointless!

Blogging is not a competition. We shouldn’t be fighting (politely, of course, but still fighting) over something, but working together. Instead of being evasive over what you’ve said to a company or something, what is wrong with sharing the knowledge? (I’ve gone all evangelical, I do apologise – but I never know how to respond to emails about my blog and I would find it so useful to be able to get help from other people besides poor ol’ Sarah.)

I don’t know. I’ve spilled out my thoughts on this, but I don’t feel any better for it! Am I just burbling away crap to myself, or do you guys agree? Are awards and competitions actually beneficial to the blogger who wins in the end?

I just bought this necklace as a Twitter-birthday present to myself - click the image to go to the Etsy store!

Yesterday, I woke up to the following tweet:

Seriously, five years?

My first tweet was this:

I don’t even remember why I joined. I, like most people when they first join, didn’t really get it, but I really started using it when there were other people to talk to that I knew. (Weirdly, looking back at my Facebook Timeline, when I first joined FB, I used to write my status’ in the same way that most Tweets are written. Odd!)

When I joined Twitter, it looked like this:

and you rarely saw the fail whale back then. But, then more and more people started to join, and the whale was a familiar frustrating sight.

Twitter has been an immense help at all times. From the little things (“What should I wear today?”) to the big – and there have been many, from crazy workloads, to moving across the country on my own, to meeting so many new people, to awful jobs, and yes, you know the story already, but it is how I met my boyfriend. I’m not a very confident person in the “real” world, but on Twitter, I am incredibly chatty, and it has helped so much when I have met people outside of the Internet. Twitter has helped make my life better, and I don’t care if that sounds lame.

So, y’know, thanks Twitter. Thanks for that. Love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

I realised it had been quite a while since I had done a whats in my bag type post, and when better to do one than when you have a new bag that you want to show off just a little bit? Yes, this is my beeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful new Mulberry bag, bought last weekend after much contemplation. She is a purple Mitzy hobo style bag, with gold hardware. I would have preferred silver or pewter, like my clutch, but I can live with it ;)

Tied to it is a scarf from Hobbs, which I will post about soon. I don’t think you can buy this actually, but the bright splodge of orange looks ace with the purple leather, and orange is the colour of the year apparently!

Inside the bag is too much evidence of trips to Harvey Nichols food hall. I’m a little obsessed with the lemonade by San Pellegrino, and I love these mints by Peppersmith (who get bonus points for their webshop to buy chewing gum called E Buy Gum.) I also bought a new small Bobble bottle*, which is the perfect size for my bag, and stops me from buying bottles of water all the time. (If you don’t know what this is, the black section in the bottle is a water filter, so you can fill it with tap water.)

Theres the usual array of notebooks, diaries, Moo cards and pens and paper, and my iPad is usually in here, but it was on charge at the time. I always have to have a camera in my bag (inside the gold bow case) and the essentials – purse, work badges, umbrella, tea mug, hair brush. Surprisingly, I have a make up bag in here at the moment. Actually putting the make up on in the morning is another thing.

What do you keep in your bag – what can’t you live without?

I would welcome any advice that people have to give on those fronts. (Except the boyfriend part. I quite like mine.)

In a sort of related way (in that perhaps seeing what I can improve will help increase my confidence in what I do), I wanted to ask you guys what your opinion of my little blog was. All of the questions are optional, so you can be completely anonymous (will I regret this?) but I would appreciate as much info as possible. Because you’re ace, you are.

Someone on my Twitter feed linked to Bangs and a Bun’s post yesterday about “Confidence vs Ego”. It basically says that we should be proud to talk about our achievements, and why we’re awesome, instead of hiding it away. An interesting topic.

I know this. I agree with this! But I can’t do it. One of my New Years resolutions (which I didn’t really put this post because its so difficult to phrase without – in my mind – sounding awful) was to not only build new and current relationships to improve my blogging, but to also be able to say about whats so great.

I find it incredibly difficult to self promote. I feel awkward just tweeting a link to a new blog post – I feel like I’m spamming people and that they wouldn’t be interested in reading what I write. I created a Facebook page – not because everyone else was doing it, but so I wasn’t spamming the people who are my friend with blog links. I think I’ve said this to most of you before – when I think about who is looking at my blog or follows me on Twitter, honestly, I always assume there are about 5 people reading this, and it’s strange when people recognise me from these things, or talks about something I’ve posted. (Its not even as if this is a new occurrence. Back in the day, when I was on ol’Livejournal, I wrote a lot – unsurprisingly! – and being one of the few people in my tiny Uni town who wrote, I did have people come up to me on campus to say they saw something I’d done.)

I could give reasons to why I am like this. The main culprit I suspect would be having the wrong people around me who would knock down everything I did. But that doesn’t solve my problem. I want to push myself forward. I want to take the same opportunities as everyone else does – instead of ignoring the email, because they couldn’t possibly mean me. I just don’t know how.

So, dear readers (who do exist and I love the majority of you) – help me. Am I just some sort of freak? How can I change?

• Job – How descriptive. I found a great contract job in May, and am still there, so yay.
• Let the little things go – This isn’t one you can say “Yes, I’ve done that now, I can just revert to normal”. But I think I’ve done OK so far. Cutting yourself off from people is never easy, but it is necessary in some cases.
• Improve my commenting – I did really well for a few months, but then it slacked off a bit. (A lot.)
• Take more photos – I know its a bit of a dividing app, but because of Instagram, I did take a lot more photos this year. I also got my little camera fixed (um, 10 months after I noticed the fault) and managed to replace the 50mm lens thanks to a lovely random person on Twitter selling me theirs. (Yay Twitter!)
• Record more – I increased my blog posts to 4 a week (well…aimed…usually met that target), I took more photos, but I gave up recording how many books I read after the first few weeks.
• Appreciate everything –  Again, not a measurable thing really. I hope I’ve done this!

So, with (I think) a reasonably good success rate, I opened up my notebook and started scribbling down things I want to do and want to make happen in 2012.

• Quite a lot of mine revolve around blogging and that sort of thing. The photo above explains quite well really. I want to go on to bigger and better things – a strange way to put it really, but I want to make this blog better.
• I want to become more confident in my dealings and ~*relationship building*~ both professionally and personally. I’m so useless at this.
• Develop the side projects – this is going to need the previous goal to work, because I will have to ask people for their professional help in this. Argh.
• Get at least 1000 bloggers listed on the bloggers map – I love the map, I love that its getting people to meet up together! I always want more people to join – so please blog, tweet, Facebook  - just tell someone, ok?
• Meet more bloggers and Twitter people. Always an ongoing goal, always a lot of fun.
• I really like this resolution – enjoying the view without help from an iPhone – where the author intends to spend 30 minutes a day disconnected without electronics. This sounds like it would be easy – I spend about 2, 2 1/2 hours a day on a bus, but I am often idly looking at Twitter, or blogs, or whatever and not actually using the time productively.
• Take at least 1 picture a day on Instagram. Its just easier to use that app, and to keep them all in a certain location.
• Do Race for Life again. Like that wasn’t going to happen.
• Go on holiday – a proper holiday!

Hmm, thats a bit of a list! What are your resolutions?

I like to do these year in review posts each year because it makes me look back properly at what I’ve done over the past 12 months and think about how they’ve improved things. It doesn’t look like I did one last year – apparently I didn’t do anything of note in 2010! – but here’s 2007, 2008 and 2009‘s if you’d like to see them.

I spent the first few months of the year out of work, with very little money to be able to do anything, and alone quite a bit because of Alex’s travelling. It was difficult being alone so much with nothing to fill my days – I couldn’t even get the bus into town some days because I just didn’t have the money. I know that some may mock, but Twitter and blogging were the two things that helped me from becoming a total hermit. (I’d never become that segregated from society to wear a onesie though ;))

I raised £410 when I did Race for Life this year (turns out people like the idea of an unfit girl attempting to run 10km in the rain. Cheers guys), and so far have raised £136 for Macmillan (that page is always open for donations, so…y’know…yeah). I’m so so proud of what I did for the two charities that are closest to my heart, and hope that I can encourage some of you to take part in things like Race for Life in 2012…hinty hint hint hint.

I started working for a huge company. I’ve been there since May, and its so refreshing to be able to say I love what I do, going to work is not so much of a chore and the people that I work with are pretty awesome too. I hope they will keep me for quite a while! I think you guys know (especially if you followed me on Twitter) that I really wasn’t happy in my last job, especially in the last few months so its just amazing that I am finally doing something that I have wanted to for a while. (Yes, accounts is what I’ve wanted to do for at least the past 10 years.) Its also pretty ace that its a company that produces something that I have grown up around, so I can let a bit of the inner nerd out.

Hmm…what else? Blog wise I guess, this has been the best year so far. I’ve been able to do things that I would never have been able to without the blog – going to London Fashion Week in September was a particular highlight. I’ve managed to meet lots of new people, and am always so happy when I get to see some of my older blogging friends. I started doing outfit posts – not because I think I’m the most fashionable person ever (as if!) but because I need to get over my hatred of being in photos. I’m especially pleased with the response to my bloggers map – there are just over 700 blogs listed on that map. I know that it has been of use to a few people who have been looking for bloggers in specific areas – I hope you guys have been contacted by some of those people! I’d love to get at least 1000 bloggers listed on the map, so please do pass the link on!

2011 was awesome, but I hope 2012 is even better for all of us!

After last years craptacular non-Christmas, I was determined to have a good one this year. Alex and I drove up to Chester on Sunday morning, arriving about half 12, when the pub was quite busy. I helped myself to drinks and we tried to hide, but I still ended up working a little bit on the bar. So so so glad that is our final time working on Christmas Day! People are so rude – yes, I am working, but that doesn’t mean that you can be rude to me because its Christmas. Managed to resist snapping at one person that I hadn’t travelled 200 miles to serve them when they were whining that they were having to wait. Argh! Time was called earlier than usual, because of how rude people were and we managed to get everyone out of the pub at least an hour earlier than previous years.

It was just Alex and I, my Dad and Maria for actual dinner. My sister and her husband Craig came over after they had been to his family for dinner, and it was just a quiet relaxed evening with a lot of chocolate and cheese eaten, and a bit of gin drank. (It needs drinking, sad times. Since the pub is closing in less than a week, theres not much stock left, so instead of tonic, I had gin, lemonade and lime. It reminded me of the end of term parties we had at the Union where you’d end up with awful combinations like gin and coke. You will only ever make that mistake once)

We drove back to Bristol Monday afternoon, and I’ve been embracing the holiday – staying in my PJ’s, drinking tea all day, and munching leftovers! My company is shut down until next Tuesday, so hopefully I’ll get some productive things done while I’m out of the office, but I suspect I’ll just keep doing nothing. Its nice to do nothing when you’ve got a job to go back to – not like last year!

(photo above of me aged about 6/7, going to a disco, wearing Mum’s screw on earrings and having had my hair curled with her hot rollers. Always stylish. I actually managed not to take a single photo this holiday – not even a snap of my dinner on Instagram!)

Six years.

Sometimes it feels like forever. Sometimes it feels so recent. Sometimes I forget altogether – thats probably the main reason I had to stop watching Hollyoaks because I’d want to call and talk about it! (That, and its going through its crap cycle.)

A friends dad died recently, and I said that it gets easier. It doesn’t. It gets more compartmentalised, and you have to remember that talking about your mum makes people uncomfortable, so you keep quiet which then means other people think you don’t care.

I do miss her, a lot.

(We are always grateful to the nurses at Macmillan who helped her while I was at uni. If you haven’t sent a Christmas card yet, would want to buy me a drink right now or you just want to donate, please visit the page we set up on Justgiving and do so. You can also donate via text message, by texting SMCP54 £1 to 70070. Replace the £1 with whatever amount you like – I am thankful for anything donated.)

The giant creepy Santa that stands outside my office window. Its actually more hideous in the daylight.

Its been a long time since I felt really festive in the run up to Christmas, but this year has been a bit different, with a few more parties (all of which were fun and produced horrid photos. The shoes, by the way, have become a little more comfortable with each wear (and by a little, I mean a minute fraction), but I am still very grateful that I have a pair of Redfoot folding pumps* which I bought a few years ago and are still in reasonably good shape.)

Theres just one thing that I really dislike about this time of year. Secret Santa. Whoever came up with this as a “fun” office activity has obviously never worked in an office. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure its a great activity when you get someone you know so well, and can find a perfect present within the price limit. But I never have. Theres two ways of doing the secret Santa – where you pick names out of a hat, in which case its incredibly likely that you will end up with the person you can’t stand in the office, or someone who has started a week before so you know absolutely nothing about them. The other way is where you pick whether you will buy for a boy or a girl – a generic choice is not always a good thing.

So choosing the gift – thats the first problem. You end up panic buying something that you hope someone will like. And theres the second half. Receiving. Even if you pick the most perfect gift for someone, you’re still going to end up with something picked up at the garage/pound shop. Your reaction can only be a polite smile, a “How cute!/useful!/unusual!” (Unusual is the best choice, it covers a multitude of sins.) and a note to yourself to put it in the next charity bag. (But you won’t, and it will just collect dust at home until you end up regifting it yourself. Its like a hideous cycle!)

The only Secret Santa I participate in is with my Four Feet – someones boyfriend chooses who we all get and messages us on Facebook to tell us who to buy for. It works quite well! An exception to the rule – but then we have all known each other for at least 20 years (Oh. We’re old.)

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever received in a Secret Santa? Alternatively, give me some hope and tell me what the best thing you’ve ever had is!

Whenever anyone has asked me what I want for Christmas (and actually, for my birthday as well), I just shrug. I don’t especially need anything (well, perhaps a new pair of GHD’s, as my almost 7 year old pair are a little dodgy on the wiring) but these are things I would quite like. My choice of things here is probably a good indication of things that I’d really like but can’t justify buying myself.

Since I know that Alex reads this (Conversation on Wednesday night: “Hey you blogged” “Yes, I do that sometimes. Wait, you follow my blog?” “Yeah, its a good way to see if you’re alive or not” “…er, you do know I schedule my posts?”), all the above, please, thanks, love yoooooooou!

One of the holidays that I think we should embrace a bit more in the UK is Thanksgiving. Obviously the historical element isn’t as relevant to us in general, but more the act of saying what you are thankful for over the past year. I’ve been thinking about this all weekend (I went back home for the weekend, which was nice)

I’m thankful that I have found a job that I really enjoy and is what I have wanted to do for a long time. (I’m hopeful that it will last quite a while – I am just a contractor after all!) I am thankful to have left my previous job, because it made me much more miserable than the stress of commuting ever does. (Remind me of this when I next complain that First have messed up again.)

I’m thankful that I pushed myself into leaving Chester. The easy option would have been to stay there and keep working at Crest, and perhaps it wasn’t the most sensible option to quit my job and to expect I would walk straight into a new one, but having gone back at the weekend, I am glad I am no longer there. In three years, it doesn’t feel like anything has changed – and that’s not always a good thing.

I’m thankful for my friends. My friends that have known me since I was in primary school (my feet!) are always there, my friends from Uni (hi Wife) and newer friends met through things like blogging helped me at the start of the year from withdrawing completely from everything.  Unfortunately there are always a few bad eggs who are only there for the good parts, but I am thankful for the bad times that weed them out.

I am thankful for this blog – for the opportunities it has given me, and for the wonderful people I have met and will meet one day! I am thankful for Twitter for introducing me to lovely random people – the photo above is of a sandwich that Ben delivered to me last Thursday lunchtime as a random act of kindness on the bus. Amazing. (Also in the pic, candied yams, sweet potato and roast potato. I wish I could eat this every day. YUM)

Finally, I am thankful for my boyfriend for making me laugh every day, for supporting me when unemployed and for just being ace. (Also for Fern as well, for being the dumbest sweetest dog ever.)

What are you thankful for?

I often say that I could never be mistaken for a beauty blogger. I barely wear make up and am pretty hopeless at even the basic skin care routine. Its partly because I’m lazy, but partly because I have very sensitive skin, made worse by a bad attack of varicella (better known as chicken pox) when I was 20. The Wife introduced me to Bare Escentuals’ mineral foundation range a few years ago, and last year, I finally purchased some myself. My little collection has grown, but I never use them.

Mineral foundation can be a fiddly set up to use.You’ve got pots of loose powder which when combined with a clumsy blonde (hello, thats me), ends up with clouds of dust everywhere. Its not a particularly travel friendly system – which isn’t great for me, because I leave so early in the mornings, I have to be one of those women who do their make up on the bus. Have you ever tried to do mineral make up on the bus? I have. Its not good.

I needed to find a way to make this a little less messy and a little less awful for my co-passengers. I went to the stand in House of Fraser Bristol, and picked up this, the refillable buffing brush*.

The brush is exactly what I wanted, and more. Above is the brush in the closed position. At the base, you can just about see a little bit of clear plastic – you fill this up with your chosen foundation, and screw back in to place. To open up the brush, you twist the main part of the body (there are three settings, closed, buff (so no foundation will come through) and open)

In the open position, this allows the foundation to come through the brush head, so theres no need to swirl and tap, just buff away! The brush is actually magnetic, which makes cleaning much easier.

When I’ve applied the make up before using the “normal” system, its always felt a bit caked on, especially around my eyebrows (with the chicken pox scarring and psoriasis – I’m such a catch) but using this brush has been great for me as it doesn’t allow too much powder out at once.

I’ve actually been wearing make up every day this week, which is very unusual for me, just because this is so easy to use. Its also allowed me to mix a few shades together – I have three different shades of foundation when trying to find my perfect match, so mixing them together means at least I don’t feel like they’ll be wasted! (If Bare Escentuals could create a super pale powder, I’d love them even more)

Oh, and if you buy this from Debenhams online, you can use the code LM93 to get an extra 10% off until Sunday. I think that code is valid for all purchases, so a good time to start the Christmas shopping!

(apologies for the not so great photos, and no pics of my skin – I literally had 5 minutes to snap these the other morning, and hadn’t even done my make up by then! Also, I’m not sure I’d share photos of my skin, its a bit of a horror story landscape)

One of the tasks that I have at the moment is to get a celebrity stalker. Except for some reason, you get a stalker by blogging. Uh huh.

5 blog posts…100 followers? I wish.

1000 followers for 10 mean blog posts? Easy. In light of this Jezebel article, perhaps the “celebrity” blogger part isn’t so unlikely?

“Steal pictures from other websites to make your blog look professional” – this one made me laugh the most, since I’m sure we’ve all had people steal photos from us before (and if you think you have, perhaps you should have a look at this blog post about tracking them down)

If it were this easy, we’d all have celebrity stalkers…