A Blonde Biography

The 28-year-old former waitress landed her first after-uni job far too long ago. Now she blogs and takes some photos sometimes. She lives with her boyfriend and his sock obsessed kleptomaniac spaniel, Fern in South Bristol.

Miss Constantine was born in 1983 in Chester to a bearded baldy Scottish dude, and a scary ginger/blonde Welsh lady who later went on to produce another child, allegedly a sister for Hayley. Stephanie was born in 1985, and thankfully her parents decided she was quite enough thank you very much.

Hayley went to primary school in Boughton Heath between 1989 and 1992 until her parents realised she wasn’t learning anything in a school where they held her back to stay with the rest of the class. She then went to Huntington Primary between 1992 and 1995, and learnt a great deal of things, such as how to dance like an Arawack Indian, how to play British Bulldog and all the words to every Take That single.

Between 1995 and 2002, she could often be found in the grounds of Christleton High School during the day (although between 2000 and 2002 was also found in Sainsburys far too often). CHS taught her many many things, but she doesn’t really remember many of them, apart from the fact that her business studies teacher Mr Sharples had a man to come and clean his wheelie bin once a week.

Despite the lack of retained knowledge, she gained a few qualifications, and moved along to the University of Wales, Aberystwyth to study in Business Finance. The degree started in 2002, and was a three year course, however Hayley decided to go to Bristol for a year in employment (despite only going there once for a few days, knowing only one person there and not actually having any job) between her second and third year.

The year in Bristol turned out to be one of the main changing points in her life. Not because she was doing a job that would become a career, or because she met amazing people. The reason why it was a changing year for Hayley is because she realised why she was doing a degree, and also that she really loved Bristol and someday hoped to move there permamently.

In May of that year out (May 2005), Hayley’s mum was diagnosed with cancer. At the time, it was not thought to be terminal, and it was only 3 weeks before her death that the family actually learnt the true extent of the illness. Hayley has a tendency to worry and stress over these sort of things, and so decided to take that summer off work and look after her mum. It was possibly one of the best decisions she made, and whilst it messed her up financially, she does not regret that summer at all.

In September 2005, Hayley began her final year at Aberystwyth. She had realised that she was perhaps a little shallow, and decided to take on some extra curricular activities. Perhaps it was her way of coping with her family issues, who were starting to fall apart with the stress of the illness. Hayley “grew” a lot more as a person during that final year at university than the previous 5 years combined.

In December 2005, Hayley’s mum died, on the 21st December. As you can imagine, it was a stressful and traumatic time on the family, and Hayley struggled to keep her dad and sister together. Despite the problems, and other events that suddenly exploded at the same time, Hayley completed her degree despite being told by her school to drop out that year.

Hayley went home to Chester in 2006, and started a temping job at a small company called crest:pay (renamed crest:plus in 2007). She saw herself temping at this company for a month or two, so she could gather enough money together to move to Bristol. Hayley ended up staying at crest:plus until April 2008.

On New Years Eve, 2007, Hayley was on the phone to a close friend, and explained some of the above points about moving to Bristol. The friend asked why she hadn’t just done it already, and this woke Hayley up. Why indeed?

She quit her job at crest:plus, without having a place to live in Bristol, or even a job to go to. She moved to her current flat in May, and took on a few brief temping jobs to earn a few pennies to pay the bills.

She met her boyfriend on Twitter in October 2009, which seems like an odd thing to do. He contacted her via Facebook, and she saw that he knew some of her other friends from his time at the same university as her, so she decided he probably wasn’t an axe murderer. They moved in together sometime in summer 2010 (she’s not sure of the date because she spent so much time at his house anyway)

She has no idea why the previous paragraphs have been written in an overdramatic third person style, but can not be bothered to change it.


5 Responses to A Blonde Biography

  1. A says:

    I was very moved by your storey and want to say well done for coming through your life changing experience by being positive and optimistic about the future ahead. It says a lot about your strong character. I am sure your mum would be proud of you. Keep it up girl!

    I wish you all the best for the future.

    Take care.

  2. The Ginger Foot says:

    This is one of the most entertaining pieces I’ve read for ages!

  3. The Ginger Foot says:

    Although the electric toothbrush doesn’t appear why not?! Huntington initiation!

  4. Charlotte says:

    This is a good accurate biography Hayles. When is the hardback book due out? However I cannot believe you cannot remember more about sharples memorable lessons especially James Dyson!!!

  5. Wife says:

    Im not mentioned once in that bio….disappointed. Becuase surely the most amazing thing that has happened in your life was meeting me!